I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I wish there were birth control emojis
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
