So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
