dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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