Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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