Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
