You're so nebulous sometimes
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
