You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
