Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
