That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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