i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
