So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize