I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
where am i from again
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
