Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
