call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
