I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
