i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
