when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
well you can't waste a boner
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
