I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
