Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
