scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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