Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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