i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
