I must be too annoying 4 u.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
