I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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