I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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