Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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