Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
