Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize