you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
