Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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