doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
