I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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