so explain again why im purple
no
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm like, not good at living.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
