You really coming over, don't trick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Everclear isn't food dammit
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
