somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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