ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
