his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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