You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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