My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
