Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
