the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
