I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize