you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
