I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize