wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
