I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize