well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
