There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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