I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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