saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
