grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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