I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
