She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
