the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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