Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
