I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
