Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I believe in your delicious
I love you. Go after that dick
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
